It was a sunny SA Saturday


t was a sunny Saturday in SA, yes it was. The meeting place was set but the time was not. You have to realise that when a plan has so many participants the meeting time will be set, changed, reset, changed again & eventually set to the original time. Is it 1pm or 12?  Yes, 1 is good or is 12 better?

We are going to Cullinan & it is 74km from the meeting point. Yes, it might be a 5 hour ride so best we meet at 12. No, it is only 70-something kms so we’ll be back before dark so 1pm it is. No, RvR only lands after 10am from Slaapstad so 12 will be too soon. It’s winter & the sun might set while we’re on the road so best we leave early at 12. It might just be a 5 hour ride with all the smoke & piss breaks along the way. Allow for a few wrong turns & a 5 hour ride is a possibility so 12 it is!

So it’s 12 o’clock on a sunny Saturday in SA & there we are at the meeting point. All lined up & ready for the road,  Backerman on his blue bike sporting a fresh set of Pirelli Angel GT tyres, JP on his Hardley Dangerous, Vin on his always-clean Gixxer, Kruger Snr on his custom cafe Bros & Kruger Jnr on his matching Bros with shiny freshly painted tank (that’s a story for another time). Wait, we are missing some people. Govander won’t make it, apparently failing a firearm competency test takes much longer than he thought. Where is RvR? His flight landed ages ago. The guys say he sent a message claiming his bags got burgled by the airport bag throwers. I suppose I’ll have to take their word for it seeing that I’m on shit network & will only receive the message on Monday.

It smells like a lame excuse to me so we decide he is a liar & make the arduous 2 km detour to his house. There we found a hungover drunkard who was easily persuaded to leave his family & come for a ride. While waiting for the hungover RvR to get ready I took the opportunity to “test” Kruger Jnr’s 650 Bros. This model must be for kids. It feels like I’m on a 12 speed built for a child. To make matters worse the engine idle feels rough but maybe that’s just what a twin is supposed to feel like. I head over a speedbump & the suspension feels harsh but maybe that’s what a 12 speed is supposed to feel like. The brakes feel spongy & weak but maybe that’s so kids don’t htow themselves over the bars. Kruger points out that the brake lever broke & was hastily replaced 2 minutes before departing from his home. Sounds safe to me.

I immediately take Kruger Snr’s Bros for a “test” ride. Nothing like a back-to-back comparison to get a real feel. Firstly, his seating position is higher which is great for my longer than average legs. Secondly, it revs smoother. Thirdly, the brakes are crisp & sharp. This little gem of a café racer feels great & puts Kruger Jnr’s spanner skills to shame.

Eventually RvR emerges with his very clean & very blue GS ready to hit the long 70 km trip & forget all about his babalas. Fortunately his bike has every accessory in the BMW catalogue which is great news for Backerman who can now put his tyre pump in the GS topbox. Tthe new valves on his GTs are losing pressure faster than a new bike depreciates.

Off we go & as to be expected we had to stop & wait for the Krugers, This is a family that is completely directionless & can get lost in a bedroom. This time however they were not lost but had to stop due to a mechanical issue. This is yet another Kruger curse. Anyhow, nothing serious & a few kms later we roll into Cullinan. Down the road we go & soon we’re greeted by the sound of people & music. The liveliest place on the dorp seems to be The Cockpit & brewhouse so in we go in search of food & drink & possibly a semi-clothed female. Any place with the word “cock” in the name suggests so.

Sadly no strippers or commercial beer, only craft beer that smells like fruit juice & looks like monkey piss. It seemed to do wonders for RvR’s babalas & even the practising weekend alcoholic Kruger Jnr approves. The menu consisted of burgers, mostly burgers & more burgers so we ordered burgers. They were large & good, just what was needed after the long ride of 70 something kms.

The sun was hanging low so we get up, gear up, start up & shut down. Mayday, the Harley has an issue. Nothing serious, probably rattled something crucial out of its sockets. Nice thing about Harleys is you can fix it with wire, pliers, grass, spit & in 2 mins we’re on our way.

Halfway back & the Bros is acting up so we stop. It gets going & a few kms later it stops again. It gets going & keeps going. At a red light I’m in front ready for a drag race. Watch the lights, watch the lights, build the revs, feel the clutch, green light & I’m gone! 2 lights down the road & I glance back to see how far I’m in the lead. How fast was that launch? There is nobody behind me. This must be a new record for a 600. I’m so happy with my unofficial record that I keep going all the way home to celebrate with a rum & coke.

How far did I win the drag race? By about 40kms. The Bros broke down & is probably still on the side of the road.

I won.

The end..


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